My wife pointed out to me the other day, and actually the other days, years, months, and decades, that I am not funny anymore. Her exact words were.

You use to be funny, but not as much anymore. You use to make me laugh.

I don’t see myself as not being funny, but she clearly does. So, I must not be funny. The joke is on me. So I started to think. What has changed over the past 26 years since we met? Well, I am about 70 lbs heavier, have very little hair and I changed my deodorant from Old spice to some non-alcohol based health brand. Maybe that’s it. After all that old spice guy is pretty hunky and Vegan and health food people don’t look that sexy to me. So I decided to go out and get myself some old spice in hopes to make this venerable guy funny again. Maybe the hunky guy will rub off on me and I will lose some weight, grow some hair, get bigger you know where and bring back that funny glare.

Other things I will try in an effort to be funny again is to study a book of jokes. Maybe something like the one I heard at my college reunion would make me funny again. It goes like this.

There was a Pastor of church who was in the hospital facing death. He had many visitors some he liked and some he didn’t’. In his final days he requested that his wife invite the head Deacon and the church treasurer to come visit him. She said yes, but was a little stunned by his request since he didn’t like either man. But, she honored his request and asked both men to come. They too were surprised by his request, but came anyway. Once they got there he asked one of them to take a seat on his left and the other on his right. He then smiled and said now I can die like Jesus between a liar and a cheat.

Ha, ha, I laughed when my old classmate Richard told this joke at the reunion, but again, he told the joke, not me, so it’s funny, but not a funny from me. I am desperate and my wife was in the same room, so maybe I can get partial credit for making her laugh.

So many people are stressed out about the world economy, the occupation movement, Cain’s sexual harassment issues, the Greek money system and paying their mortgage. Hell, I can deal with those things. The thing that is making me stressed and worried is being funny for my wife. I thought I was funny, other people laugh at me or with me, but around here I just don’t get that laugh meter going.

I’ve even started going on Youtube to watch Richard Pryor stand up routines.

I subscribed to Laugh Factory ,and set my DVR to old Seinfeld reruns. In an effort to reclaim my funny I intentionally hit my funny bone. Damn that hurt and it wasn’t too funny. But this bit: “Sex Hole”, was hilarious, and once again, it’s not me, but my wife and you might get a laugh or two from it. Just give me some funny points for finding it for you.

So here I am trying to get my funny on. Not trying to be funny just being me. I will keep rubbing on that Old Spice and loose some weight. No way am I getting a toupee or using Rogaine. I will continue to watch Laugh factory and hope that I can make you laugh once again, but if I can’t I will just have to rant –

I use to be funny, but now I am not, maybe I just need to go get you a robot.

Just kidding, but was that funny?

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