Don’t Worry Be Happy
By Jerome Green

I have been reading a wonderful book, Married To Laughter – A Love Story Featuring Anne Meara, by Jerry Stiller. Jerry Stiller is Ben Stiller’s dad who has been in show business for over 60 years. You might know him as George Constanza’s dad on Seinfeld or the father on King of Queens. There is a section in the book where Jerry talks about his father who lived to be 102 years old. Whenever Jerry asked him what would keep him going, William Stiller would always have the same reply – “I never worry”. This was one of many great moments of conscience that is in the book and clearly made me reflect on some things. What do I worry about? How much do I worry? Does my worry block my ability to do?

I used to hate the song, “Don’t Worry Be Happy”. My retort was “ You better worry”. It took me quite a while to really understand what the song was truly saying. It’s not an effacing anthem, but a liberating one. Once I was able, with the assistance of Henry, to understand the pitfall of worrying, I could embrace the song and its meaning with greater understanding.

For the most part, I work on not worrying and I remember as a child I hardly worried about anything. I always had tremendous faith that things would work out. I embraced the magic. Magic has been with me for 57 years at least and continues to be one of the greatest assets of my life. The past few years, with the cries of recession, foreclosures, retrenchment and high unemployment, has wreaked havoc on the spirits of the American psyche. We’ve become fragile in our courage, less reliant on conscience, and more stuck in our minds. I fall into this derisive trap myself.

“Worry is thoughts and images of a negative nature in which mental attempts are made to avoid anticipated potential threats.[1] As an emotion it is experienced as anxiety or concern about a real or imagined issue, usually personal issues such as health or finances or broader ones such as environmental pollution and social or technological change. Most people experience short-lived periods of worry in their lives without incident; indeed, a moderate amount of worrying may even have positive effects, if it prompts people to take precautions (e.g., fastening their seat belt or buying fire insurance) or avoid risky behaviors (e.g., promiscuous sexual relations or cliff diving). Excessive worry is the main component of Generalized anxiety disorder. – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

I know when I worry, I freeze up. Nothing can get done. I am not available to others (especially my wife) and my life seems to suddenly come to a screeching halt. To halt something is to block the exchange with yourself and others.

So what does one do when faced with real time issues of money, work-related matters, etc? Listen to conscience. Follow your heart and stay open for new direction and purpose. Learning to listen to conscience requires clearing away historical toxins that pollute our minds and render us helpless and afraid. Is it that simple? Yes it is, but simple is one of the hardest things for me to do. The word simple itself is the most complex word I know. Langston Hughes had a character he wrote about named Simple, who always asked simple questions that led to complex thoughts. Ever hear someone say keep it “simple” how hard is that for each of us to do? I know whenever I don’t keep it simple, that my world gets all discombobulated, and I develop a severe case of tight ass. So to me, “Simple” is a complex step to freedom. Worrying does not suit me or assist others around me. I have to continually fight to develop my chops when it comes to developing a greater ability to listen and follow the conscience.

Throughout the book Married to Laughter, Jerry continues to tell inspirational stories about conscience. He tells the story of the time that his dad, during the depression, spent 25 cents, for he and Jerry to go to a Vaudeville show. When Jerry’s mom heard about it she was livid. How can you spend 25 cents on vaudeville and we need milk and bread. Jerry’s dad just looked at her and at Jerry and smiled. Jerry credits those trips to vaudeville shows with his dad for assisting him to develop a driving passion for theater, acting and show business. He also told the story of getting 25 cents from his uncle Charlie and going out to buy gum and candy. When his mom found out, she grabbed him and took him back to the candy store, and asked the storeowner, “how could you sell a kid twenty-five pieces of gum?” She turned to me. “Give it back”. The store owner was incredulous. “What do you want from me”? “ I want my quarter back”. She said to him. He gave Jerry’s mom back the quarter and Jerry’s mom turned to him and said “Don’t ever do that again”. Jerry went on to say that his uncle Charlie continued to slip him money, and he learned to hide his treats from his mom.

Jerry’s mom (Bella) was a worrier who died of cancer at a much younger age than his dad. You might say, well someone had to worry about the rent, paying for bread, milk. Yes and no. Jerry’s dad seemed to always find a way; it just wasn’t the way his mom wanted him to find it. What if Jerry’s dad’s major responsibility in life was to take him to Vaudeville shows, make him laugh and demonstrate to him how not to worry? What if he hadn’t done that? Would Jerry have found the passion and drive to be an actor? Jerry credits his dad’s early adventures with him as being a driving force to that led to him being an actor.

Worry limits our opportunities, blocks our listening and in many cases assists the onset of illness. Not worrying doesn’t abdicate responsibility and accountability. On the contrary it reinforces it. I know I have a responsibility to listen and follow, and when I do that I move more into my own leadership and demonstration. Believe me, I have a lot I could be worrying about right now. How am I going to pay this bill, manage my life economically and enjoy some of the things I want to do in life?

What I continue to learn is that there is tremendous value in a simple song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”…

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The Song Of Life
By Jerome Green

The beat is in my head and I feel it in my heart. It’s the sound of luvv that brings in new life.

The song of life is full of all the things that comprise who I am. It has joy, it has pain and sometimes, it even drives me insane.

This song of life brings with it the highs and lows. As well as some pretty mighty blows.

Through it all I can truly say I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The song of life requires each of us to pay. Who would want it any other way?

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Photo by Stacie Bucheit

When the Evening Comes
By Jerome Green

When the Evening comes and it’s all said and done
Have you smiled today and also cried along the way?

When the evening comes and it’s all said and done
Have you wished one well as they go along their way?

When the evening comes and you have heard all that one has to say
Have you luvved today and bought some joy along the way?

When the evening comes and the sun has set on those you’ve met
Have you been the one without any regret?

When the evening comes and all is said and done
Were you the one that has had the most fun?

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Henry Ford, talking about the banking system, said on February 11, 1934:

“Let them fail; let everybody fail! I made my fortune when I had nothing to start with, by my own ideas and myself. Let other people do the same thing. If I lose everything in the collapse of our financial structure, I will start in at the beginning and build it up again.”

What a novel idea that Henry Ford had. I wonder if the Big 3 read this before they starting whining like spoiled brats. Some upper manager at Ford must have read the above quote in a Ford Company History Book and decided that it would be hypocritical to go against their founding father’s wishes. So, Ford says they can make it, as long as the other two get some assistance.

In exchange for accepting federal aid, the automakers would be required to submit to significant government oversight. A cabinet-level “Car Czar” appointed by the White House would oversee the companies’ recovery efforts, with veto rights over any transaction totaling $25 million or more.

The average Joe and Jane don’t have a bailout option coming in the foreseeable future. Hey – I could use about $500,000 and I’ll be fine – pay all my bills, grow my businesses, buy a new car and have some change left over. Wouldn’t a bail out of Jerome be paramount to stimulating the economy? I would think so. I would pay it back with interest and I will accept an oversight of a government task force. They can even veto any transaction over $50,000. (I know how to spend $49,999 x 10 very easily.)

I understand that by bailing out the Big 3, we are keeping people working a few days more so that they don’t become homeless, especially during the holidays – but really. How can the Big 3 even fix their faces to ask for a bail out, when they don’t have the infrastructure to restructure, realign their business models, and keep employees working?

I can tell you who else needs a bail out since we seem to be so free at giving them out these days. How about my mechanic Carlos? He’s a great guy, does a fine job fixing cars and is experiencing upper management depression. When I asked him if he was going to make his traditional Christmas pilgrimage to Mexico, he said, “No, not this year, I can’t afford it.” This is critical. Carlos has gone to Mexico for 2-3 weeks every year for the last 10 years. This is a travesty and we need to call an emergency session of the lame dick Congress to make sure that Carlos doesn’t suffer any more. Carlos went on to tell me that on top of having fewer clients, he is also dealing with increasing cost for material and parts, which mostly come from…yes, you guessed right, the Big 3!

Now back to my bail out. I really need one, since I was at Carlos’s garage in the first place because my fissure valve (little round thing that helps hold all the fluids in the engine in) was cracked and I need to have it replaced. I am not even sure how much it’s going to cost. Carlos is always been fair in his pricing, but I am not sure now because he might be thinking about that trip to Mexico.

Carlos went on to say.

“People use to come in for preventive maintenance, it’s now just more or less the emergency or required fixes.”

I sure wouldn’t have been there today if I could have figured out how to keep my coolant from running out of the engine the minute I put it in. I tried lame duck tape but it didn’t work. Where is my bail out? I looked around his lot, and there was room to park my car pretty much anywhere. Just 3 months ago, I would have had to squeeze by big 1989 Lincoln into a corner somewhere, but today, I could park wherever I pleased.

I would have thought that the car repair business was recession proof, but I can now see why it’s not. There are more people who are stretching out the oil change to 5,000 miles or not at all, or doing it themselves. New tires? People will probably wait until the ones they have just blow out. More people are holding on to their old cars. Mine is a beautifully running 1989 Lincoln that I call “Hombre”, that is a paint job away from being a new car. When gas prices where up to $5.00 a gallon, it required a lot of faith to take a 10 mile trip. Now with prices down to $1.80, I can feel a little bit more freedom to drive around.

The thing that strikes me the most about Carlos is that, unlike the Big 3 and Wall Street, he is not making me feel bad because he can’t take his trip to Mexico this Christmas. He is upbeat and positive. His customer service has always been very good and he stands behind his work – which is something that not many businesses do even in prosperous times. I must say that Ford did a pretty good job with my 1989 Lincoln and it runs very well, better than their current cars, which is part of the Big 3 problem.

If the Big 3 are getting a bail out, Carlos and I should get one too. Oh, hell, let’s just become socialist and bail out the whole country. Wouldn’t that be European of us?

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Developing Discipline

Jerome Green

 My wife, Gail, told me a very interesting story the other day. Twenty-five years ago she was participating in a group workshop. As the workshop got started, the leaders gave the ground rules for the next 3-4 days. One of the ground rules over this time period was: “No side talking during the session.”  As the workshop went on, she found herself sitting next to another participant, Henry Conyers, and tried to strike up a conversation with him. He in turn gave her a stern look as to say, “Didn’t you hear the ground rules?”

At the end of the workshop, the organizers asked who had held to all the ground rules. Henry was 1 of 2 people, out of 200, that had.  When pushed by the workshop leaders (who in Gail’s opinion were appearing to make Henry wrong for following the rules), Henry was asked if he was anal – did he always do what he was told?  Gail said Henry’s response was simple. “It was a requirement and I wanted to make sure I got everything I could out of this workshop. It wasn’t easy for me to pay for the workshop in the first place, and I wasn’t going to cheat myself by not having the discipline to follow directions.” Gail said the entire room of participants, including the workshop leaders, went silent, because they had to recognize that Henry had demonstrated the discipline to hold to the principles outlined at the beginning of the workshop. For Henry, it wasn’t about the rules; it was about the principle of self-discipline.

Discipline is something I am personally working on. Writing this Blog and other Blogs is part of my overall discipline development. I’ve always had great ideas, but not necessarily the discipline to see them through or just follow the conscience. For me “Ask the Conscience” has been a gift. The incarnation of my writing coincides with the changes that we are all feeling. Conscience, money and luvv all go together. There are opportunities to win, but we have to be willing to participate in the game.

What I really luvv about this period in my life is that everywhere I turn there are many opportunities to receive inspiration. I probably spent the last few days, worrying about money, how little of it I had, what I had to do next to get some and if the economy was going to claim me as one of its many victims. I should have cued into the word “victim” right away, but I didn’t. I was sitting in my den, and going though my Tivo listings, (which is still, in my opinion, one of the greatest innovations of my generation) and I came across a recording of Larry King.

It was as if conscience said, “okay Jerome, you need a lift, so I will provide you with a demonstration of what discipline looks like.” King’s show, as most of his shows for the past month, was about President-Elect Obama’s transition and his various nominations. While that was informative, it wasn’t necessarily providing me with an alleviation of my fears. What did resuscitate my hope and faith was the panel of Magic Johnson (Hall of Fame basketball player and CEO of Magic Johnson enterprises), Steve Wynn (Casino Developer) and Eric Schmidt (CEO of Google and a member of Obama’s economic transition team).

The discussion centered on the state of the economy and ideas they had for assisting the newly defined “Main Street” through these tough economic times. The conversation focused on three basic concepts that the three panelists brought to the table—Innovation, Investment in people and the Discipline it takes to get through tough times.  It was so refreshing to hear, because out of all the conversations that are going on in Washington and on television, these comments seemed the most personal and individual.

At a time when the economy is on a depressive spiral, bringing with it an anxiety ridden public, it’s refreshing to see a demonstration of possibility.  Wynn said, “I am investing in people, hiring 5000 employees in his new hotel “Encore” and not having any layoffs, while building for the long term”.  He is doing this in face of a downturn in tourism and business conferences. He is also fortunate not to have a lot of debt as he structured his company that way. Part of what we are going through is similar to a detox.  Our country and the world economy are debt-toxic and part of what is going on is a spiritual reorganization of our economic system. He went on to say that we are in a period of adventure and uncertainty – and that is okay.

“It’s okay to once and a while in life not to know what to do. It’s okay to be stumped every once and a while, and it’s okay to admit that. Too much change is happening right now for most people. Now is a time to cool it.” Steve Wynn, Casino Developer.

In listening to Wynn I could sense that this is a time to have acuity of vision and a long-term approach to managing and running your business. During this time, it is very important to eviscerate doubt in your ability to overcome difficult times, and accept the victory that is occurring. You may ask me, how can you say a victory has occurred? Think about it. The American Dream has been dismantled and in its place we have an opportunity to embrace the American Vision. America was born out of vision, some magic and a lot of hope. Damn, Columbus wasn’t even looking for America, he got lost and this is what he found. He and others had the vision to forge a country, a union and now a potentially stronger America.

Dreaming will no longer get it done. Vision, discipline, focus, money and conscience will. Listening to conscience will allow you to breath and take a focused approach to the issues we each face in our personal and business lives. Business is personal and the more we can accept that – the greater chance we have of winning.

 As I mentioned in my previous article on  “Business and Conscience”, it is imperative to be more inclusive of your staff’s ideas, thoughts and to have more exchanges with all levels of the organization. If you are the CEO, it is time to be as cool as a cucumber. As the CEO, Manager or lead staff person, collapsing under the storm will only send everyone else running for the survival boats.  Staying connected with your sound judgment will clarify foresight and forge a new era of change and possibility for you and your teammates.

 “We understand we don’t panic during times like this. We are all winners, we are use to winning and we know how to win even in tough times, and that is why all three of us will continue to win.” Magic Johnson on speaking on his and Wynn’s and Schmidt’s approach to business.

Sounds pretty much like American Spirit doesn’t it?

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Will Obama add the conscience to his cabinet ?

Tonight I spoke to two young women who lifted my spirits and provide me with goose bumps. It wasn’t necessarily their words that did it, but more their energy.

They were both vibrant and full of life. One got up at 5:30 am New York time to vote and the other was just beaming with joy and purpose. My connection to these women is very special. One is my mother and the other is my mother-in law. Conscience spoke through both of them tonight. My mother, who has been ill, for the better part of 2 years now, found a sense of purpose in getting up and out to the polling place by 5:30 this morning. My mother-law and I spoke about the fact that through it all, the mixed marriage of her daughter (Gail) and myself has lasted the test of time. Conscience speaks through many forms. Tonight it spoke through the election. There is hope in the land again, not for Obama as a savior, but hopefully as a leader who will decide to Ask the conscience more than his advisors. Imagine what could happen if our leaderships around the world starting Asking the conscience. What sort of decisions would be made?  How many wars would not happen?

In speaking to my Mom I could feel her joy of being alive to see something, that as a young child and adult, she had to think would never happen, a man of clear mixed racial blood, being elected president of the United States. Add to that, my mother-in law in her 80’s or Irish decent, and born in Iowa on a farm, having lived through her daughter marrying a very black man, having a grandson of mixed race and now president of mixed race. She was excited and happy. It became very clear to me that staying young has a lot to do with listening to conscience. When you listen to conscience you learn, grow and develop. I could feel and hear that tonight in the voices of two very young women.

Asking the conscience is really an invitation to change. Let’s hope our President-Elect in his first order of business adds the conscience to his cabinet.

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by Jerome Green

The Conscience is a funny thing to me. It a part of me, and I know it’s there, but it is not always easy to listen to. This past weekend my wife, Gail, and I got really caught up with the TV show Heroes. It’s been out for 2 seasons, but I never took the time to TIVO it. It’s a show about all these abnormal people who have incredible evolutionary skills, with each of them going through their own personal battle on what these gifts or curses means. As each character evolves they have to deal with the internal battle of good and evil. As I watched the show, it caused me to tune into how I battle with the conscience. Sometimes, sometimes not, but mostly learning how to really listen and follow.

It has become more imperative these days to listen to the conscience at an even deeper level. The energy on the planet continues to increase, along with the daily challenges of dealing with the economy. There’s no greater time to thrive than now. All of the old reference points are being stripped away. There are fewer and fewer guarantees associated with the job market. I heard about a person who was with a major bank organization for 20 years being laid off. The old adage of “just go find a job” is no longer a part of the American lexicon. The new mantra is, “Listen deeply and often.”

What is the formula for people striving financially in tough times? For the most part, it’s the individual that takes that giant leap of faith, falls down, gets up and leaps again, who usually ends up feeding their desires and profiting from them. You see an absence of this showcased in Heroes–people failing to fully understand their purpose or how to use their talents, and then reeling in a lack of trust for each other. It is not until a full connection with the conscience is made that the individual is able to proceed on their journey.

Many times we don’t really value the talent and gifts we have. In fact we down play them and then one day, something happens and the very skill we dismissed is the exact one needed for a particular situation.

There are times when you have to step towards something before you are able to determine if it’s for you or not. I find it difficult to be a casual observer of things. I have to step in, play around, and get a feel before I can determine if this is where I need to be now or is it just part of the exploration. I am in the midst of a lot of these kinds of decisions right now.

Each of us has a journey to undertake. Sometimes I feel I am so far off track that I won’t be able to find my own journey in this lifetime. At other times I feel I am on track and ready to really take off. Recently, I realized that I haven’t been fully tuning into my desire at the deepest level. In many ways I am trying to protect my turf or make sure I don’t run out of money to pay the bills. But real desire hasn’t been flowing through me, not like it used to. Some people say that as you get older life beats you down and you just settle more. I don’t buy that. I’ve seen 14 years old settle and 80-year old flourish. I really feel that the closer I am connected to conscience the deeper I am able to listen.

How do you Ask The Conscience? You first have to be open, present and willing. Then you need to tap into the things that bring you joy and passion. I do know that one principle is being open and willing to follow what you hear. If your heart is closed, it is not possible to ask, listen or follow the conscience.

To listen to conscience you need to be able to trust your desire and then follow it. You need to also have courage to then act on what you hear and not listen to the mob. The mob is not conscience. For example Pinocchio was often persuaded by different characters who were telling him what to do, and then Jiminy Cricket would try and stop him from going astray. We each have a Jiminy Cricket awaiting us and willing to direct us.

Listening is the most important tool for the 21st century. Listening is a key to asking and following the conscience. Without the listening there can be no change or direction given. When I want to hear the conscience on a deeper level I usually listen to music or watch a movie. Those are the two areas where conscience speaks to me the loudest. I am also visited by conscience on the golf course and while I am flying in an airplane. The key is to find that place where you can hear the most and the deepest, and then make sure you spend time there on a regular basis.

Find out more about Jerome. Find out more about the conscience.

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