I wanted to be President

themorningafter(click her for great photos)

I wanted to be President

It wasn’t until Wednesday as I was reading various accounts of the election that a memory awoke inside of me. When I was in the 5th grade I ran for the President of my class against Mel Utley. Mel was the most popular kid in the school and we were both black in a school that was mixed with Jewish, Latino, Irish, Polish, German kids. The world was still very much young to all of us. The future was so bright, and hope sprang eternal.  It was the beginning of what sociologist in New York was calling “The Melting Pot”.

The Civil rights movement, the assassinations of Kennedy, King Malcolm X and Robert Kennedy, had yet to happen. I was just a kid. My parents had done a pretty good job of sheltering me from how different I was (racially) to the rest of the world. They spent a lot of time telling me how blessed I was and that it was prophesized that I would have a gift. This gift thing haunted me for most of my life, but I think I finally figured it out.  My gift was that I was born with was an innate gift to listen to conscience. I would later spend years squandering that gift, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t totally disable my connection to conscience.

Kennedy at the time was my guy. I loved listening to him speak and used his “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”, as my 5th grade platform. I ran and lost, but not by that much. In the process I garnered a lot of respect from my peers, teachers and even Mel. I was appointed head of the Service League.  I was really into public service. After the assassinations, it all changed. I remember that I had this gift to really hear things on a deep level. I remember falling down a flight of stairs and landing on my feet and my dad saying that means you will always land on your feel.

Jump ahead into my 20’s and it became a great period of decadence for me. Drugs, parties, fun and some work. Where did that desire to become the president go? I had traded conscience and desire for fool’s gold.  Many people say if I had it to do all over again, that I wouldn’t change anything. Well I would. I would have done far less drugs;(not sure I wouldn’t have done some ☺) stayed more connected to conscience and really explored all of my possibilities.

I was fortunate in college to meet some really great people who became awesome examples for me and whom I learned a lot from, and probably could of learned a lot more from if I didn’t think I knew it all.  Joe Benedict, Gloria Henn, James Boatwright and Kirkland Vaughns each provided me with guidance, a butt kicking and purpose while I was at C.W.Post College. Which I would do over and over again, and maybe listen more to conscience and to them also.

The great thing that has happened as a result of Tuesday night is that I have a new lease on conscience. I feel younger, newer and some of that same hope I had in the 5th grade.

I’ve spoken to many people including a  person who is usually pretty stoic and dry in their conversations with me, and even he admitted to having shed some tears of joy on Tuesday night. I walk around now seeing more and more people connected to their conscience.

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